Ships Passing In The Night

Written by C. McCarville


I want you to imagine being on a ship at night with your to-do list, work, chores, etc., working away, busying yourself as we mothers often do. Your husband is on a separate ship working, coaching, etc. The lights of the two ships flash at the other but the ships continue to completely pass each other by. Where are the kids, you ask? They are all safe in a life boat, in the middle of the sea, waiting to be shown the way to shore where all is peaceful and stable.

This is not what I was prepared for as a new wife and mother of our first daughter. Then, as child 2, 3 and 4 were born, this scenario continued off and on. Our purpose as teammates in this new journey of life had been interrupted and we seemed to be knocked off course.

If you have struggled with this, you know exactly what I mean when I say our family was in distress. We needed to find our purpose as husband and wife and as parents. Guess what that required? Purposefulness in COMMUNICATION! Seems like an easy task to tackle, right? No!

When is the right time to have any sort of meaningful communication, let alone intimate conversations? One child is constantly hanging on your leg, one needs a drink, and the others need help with homework or a new app.

The “right time” has to be made with PURPOSE and togetherness. It might mean sacrificing the first 20 minutes of your nightly down time of watching your favorite show or putting off your bath for a few extra minutes. For us, the routine of purposeful communication is two-fold:

  1. Written dialogue for 10 minutes.

  2. Verbal dialogue 10 minutes

Having a purpose for this time of communication was CRITICAL in getting back on board the SAME SHIP! And guess what? The kids are no longer in limbo in the middle. We are ALL ABOARD on this imperfect journey we are so blessed to have been given.
What ideas do you have for spending purposeful time with your spouse to keep your family all in one boat on the right course? Share those with us!

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