Simple 4-Step Lessons That Will Decrease Frustrations with Your Kids, featuring Montessori Teacher Pauline Meert

If you’re frustrated with your child because they aren’t doing things the way you want them to, there might be something missing…a lesson! It’s common to tell a child what to do (like saying thank you when someone gives them a gift or telling them to walk at the swimming pool) but how many times do we forget to explain the “why” behind what we are asking them to do, demonstrate it outside of the actual experience, and then let them practice before they actually need to “get it right”?

In this episode, Pauline Meert, co-founder and teacher at Sophia Montessori Academy, shares how giving a “Grace & Courtesy Lesson” makes all the difference in decreasing frustrations between you and your child, because you’re properly preparing them for that experience. 

The formula for giving a lesson includes:

1st — observing your child to understand what it is they need to know.

2nd — demonstrate with actions (and if necessary, use words).

3rd — let the child do it — allow your child to experience that situation, before they need to do it.

4th — follow up after they’ve tried this new thing and talk about how they think it went and if any adjustments need to be made.


Examples of lessons to give at home: walking/running, interrupting/waiting, apologizing, putting on shoes, doing laundry, how to behave in the grocery store, what to do at church, how to use a book, how to answer the door, how to clean up a spill, etc.

Working on these things as a family helps us all grow in strength of character. Practicing before performing is KEY!

For more information about what lessons your child may be ready for, listen to Episode 50 “The 4 Planes of Development”.


Join the Thrive Community by Families of Character, our private FB Group, where parents like you are sharing their experiences trying Grace & Courtesy Lessons right in their own homes. Email us at to let us know which lessons are most helpful for your children!

Check out our SHOP for parenting tools that will help you get your whole family on board to improve in organization, gratitude, generosity, manners, respect, and more! Our newest Kids Journal is the perfect tool to get your 7-11 yr olds to pitch in and help out and consider the needs of your family.

Contact Pauline Meert, co-founder and teacher at Sophia Montessori Academy by emailing 

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